By: Carla Lara

June 2014

I was about 6 weeks pregnant with my daughter

I was 20 years old when I decided to have breast augmentation surgery. I was always unhappy with my small breasts and planned on getting them done since I was a teenager. I had a good paying job so after my daughter was born and I finished breastfeeding, I went through with it.

I loved how they looked! I truly felt like I looked “how I was supposed to”. They suited my body type and throughout the years they looked so natural and normal to me that I never regretted my decision.

July 2016

About a week after breast augmentation surgery

After my awakening in 2022, the idea crossed my mind; what if I had them removed? Not wanting to have an unnecessary surgery or face my low self esteem I quickly abandoned the idea.

After I was diagnosed with cancer I had to get full body scans every 3 months. One day my oncologist called with the results.

“Carla I have bad news” My heart dropped.

“Not about the cancer! Sorry I shouldn’t have led with that. Your left implant is ruptured!” I was in shock and in that moment felt like cancer was stripping me of all the things that made me ME, like my hair, my job, and my sense of ‘invincibility’. This was insult to injury.

June 2024

Before I started cancer treatment

It wasn’t an easy decision, even if I had previously considered it. I remember sobbing that day because I was afraid I would be ‘ugly’ afterwards. I had the opportunity to have them replaced but ultimately decided against it. It didn’t take long for me to get comfortable with the idea and eventually I started looking forward to it.

Due to my ongoing cancer treatment, I was not able to have them removed until I was completely done and cleared by my oncologist. (Almost a year later.) In the mean time, I fell in love with myself and came to accept myself as I am. When the day finally came, I was elated to take this step further towards authenticity.

There was no hesitation, no regret, and no question whether I made the right decision. In fact, I was relieved to have them removed! After the surgery and to this day, I feel so free and so authentically ME! Accepting myself as I am has been the most amazing gift I could ever give myself.

I never imagined that I would feel so confident without my breast implants. I struggled all my life with low self esteem and poor body image. Had I not discovered self love, I would have had them replaced instead of removed.

Allowing myself to exist as I am has been a huge part of loving myself. Allowing myself to exist as I am means I don’t care what other people think of me. It means I love myself unconditionally. It means I am comfortable in my own skin and content in my own company.

I’m not bashing plastic surgery or anyone that has had it. But there is great freedom to be found in self acceptance and self love.

Why I Had My Breast Implants Removed

3 Lessons From Cancer